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Some days it seems the world just wants to shake your confidence to remind you to keep hold of it. In my 20’s I had rock solid confidence I could conquer the world. As I very quickly approach 40 next month it sometimes seems like daily I am challenged to cling to what is left of my confidence while trying to knit it back together.

Today’s challenge was a level of exhaustion that left me gasping for energy to scrape myself out of bed paired with the screaming accusations of a woman I barely know that I neglect my baby (the same baby who sleeps in a crib a foot from my bed disrupting my sleep several times a night as I go to her after one short wail and then spends 90% of her life outside of this house tied to my body).


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My little man came in the other evening & told me the moon is waxing. The moon has become a point of fascination lately. It’s one of the things I most love about living here.

In town you might notice the full moon but likely you just don’t notice the moon as it changes it moods. I’ve never before noticed what side of the full moon or new moon we were on.

It is so much easier to stay in contact with the natural world when we see it & feel it each & every day.

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My little man often does not fall asleep right away at night. In fact quite frequently he is up for an hour or more happily playing in his room. We don’t stress about it (after all he is happy, staying in his room & we don’t have to be lying in bed with him for it to happen!) but we do find some of his antics quite humorous.

Last night we hear little feet running down the hall & in response to my question of what he is doing is “Me be right back Mommy”. He runs into my room & back into his.

This evening I go in to tuck him all in (thinking he was asleep ’cause he is so quiet) & he is sitting quietly in bed intently “reading” a book. The odd part was his pajama pants are now on inside-out. They most definitely were not so when I left him earlier.

Another night he called “Mommy, me NEED you, me NEED you”. I went in to find him without pants & with his shirt a tangled note around him.

I’ve found him asleep with a line of trucks around him. I’ve found him asleep half off the bed clutching books. I’ve even found him asleep all tucked in with his head on the pillow looking like a little angel.

I don’t know why I love this time so much – maybe because through all those months we laid with him while he fell asleep we were unsure we would be able to get to this point without a boatload of tears. Whatever the reason bedtime went from being a dreaded time to one of my favourite of the day.

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My House Is NOT Clean

I remember babysitting as a teenager & I would always do some cleaning after the kids were asleep. I was a judgmental one – I couldn’t understand how a stay at home mom could possibly have such a disgustingly dirty kitchen floor – so bad you would stick to it when you walked across it.

And all the years I worked – for awhile at 3 separate jobs I was always certain that when we finally had children I would be able to stay home all day I’d have a house that was spic & span.

But here I am & I’ll tell you my kitchen floor has certainly been bad enough to be considered sticky & this place is never spic & span. I could certainly try harder but I’ll admit I’m not overly motivated & I’m usually just too darn busy to do all that cleaning.

Too busy?! Who’d of thunk?! Some days/weeks I tumble into bed exhausted wondering how I once again didn’t have time to do all the wonderful things we had planned. Where did all the time go?

I can’t even blame my Little Man ’cause he’s really a pretty spectacular guy & quite keen to help with any task I want. But we seem to be out & about in the world so much of the time. Plus my workouts. And Girl Guides. And there just is no way to give up the naps every day of the week. So I guess we’ll just continue to live happily in our little disaster.

Please, if you’re coming to visit, give me warning so I can clean!!!


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Awhile back I wrote about how I have surprised myself at how uninterested I’ve been in holidays since Mr. Magoo arrived. I just never seem to feel into it.

Well, the Christmas spirit has infected me this year! Most of the shopping is done, presents are wrapped, tree up & decorated! It’s been three years since we’ve really decorated for Christmas.

In 2007 we were just arriving in Costa Rica, in 2008 Mr. Magoo was just little & I was still recovering & then last year I just couldn’t face the idea of a tree & an active 1 year old with limited listening skills.

The decorating went incredibly well. The original plan was to get the tree up & decorated while Mr. Magoo was with my Mom but instead we merely got it erected. So this evening we all worked together to decorate it. Magic100 is all Christmas music so that set the mood, Grumpy Bear put on the lights & then we all hung ornaments. Mr. Magoo was more helpful than hindrance (at least at first) & our living room is now transformed.

New word of the night: "hook"

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At least that seems to be Mr. Magoo’s mantra as of late.

Today he gets no nap – we’ll see how he feels about that.

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Such A Waste

There is a house just around the corner from us with a big yard. That yard is filled to the brim with toys & sporting equipment. They have a trampoline, basketball net, covered sandbox full of miscellaneous toys, playhouse, balls, climber & a large play structure.

I have NEVER seen a child in this yard.

I now go out of my way to drive by in the hopes of seeing a child there.

Not a single sighting yet.

It bothers me. I don’t know why but something about just seems so… sad, wrong, ridiculous?

Such a waste. Thousands of dollars worth of toys for a child who very rarely (if ever) touches them. Maybe I’m just jealous.

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